Evan (aka Mr. Incredible)

Stole This From Britney

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 06:14:35 GMT

Britney, if you read this before we talk tomorrow, I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to hang out tonight. I fell asleep and I forgot to charge my phone. I hope you aren't mad. I miss you baby.

Love, Evan!

The Big Move.

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 06:06:33 GMT

I am at my parent's house now and a lot is going to be changing for me and Britney. We will make it work though. I start my new job in 7 hours but I can't sleep. After that I am going to be seeing Britney. It is funny, I said I wanted time apart but I miss her a lot and I miss living with her. Maybe it is because this week I realized that she is the only person I can trust 100%. I think she trusts me more too and that helps a lot. I am looking forward to the school year starting again at RIC though. I guess I should try to go to sleep now so I can be rested for Britney tomorrow. Goodnight all.

--Evan!

8 months

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:57:45 GMT

It's going to be 8 months with Britney on the 16th. I'm also going to the Phantom of the Opera show with my mother and Ryan that day. I think my mom got tickets for that specific day just to piss Britney off, which was clever because she made it look like she was doing a nice thing by inviting her two sons to this lovely family event or something. Oh well, I'm not going to bring it up. I will just go to the St. Patrick's Day party with her and celebrate our 8 months then. She has spring break this week though, which sucks, I have to stay home all week, but Britney will have the car so we will be able to go out a few times, it's just not as good as sleeping over. This Friday is going to suck because for the first time we're not sleeping over TJ's since Britney's dad is on vacation and she has to listen to Susan for 5 days. Gag me with a spoon. But next Friday Britney will just have to stand up for herself. I hate sleeping at home.

Sick

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 03:46:55 GMT

Today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday Mom. I'm with Britney tonight though, because she has viral meningitis and she is feeling awful. I spent all day in the hospital with her yesterday because she fainted. They put an IV in each arm and hooked her up to a heart monitor. Her blood pressure was really low too. Then my parents made me come home even though my girlfriend was in the hospital. So now I am here. Taking care of my baby. That's really all. Goodnight.

Quitting sucks balls

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 04:47:32 GMT

I'm quitting smoking. It's making me cough every night so neither of us can sleep. It's so hard, I feel so sick. But I really want to do it this time. Also I proposed to Britney on Friday. The ring doesn't have a diamond because I'm poor, but it's real gold with a pearl and it looks beautiful on her. Oh by the way Adelita, Britney's suitemate, decided that I am black now. Yay! In case I don't get to update this again for awhile, it's Ryan's birthday on Sunday, he's turning 22. Damn, I wish I was 22. I need to go to the club with Britney so I can kill every guy that tries to touch her! And buy alcohol so we can get drunk off our asses and have crazy sex just like new year's! Well anyway Happy Birthday Ryan, you lucky bastard. PS, you really need to apologize to Britney because she's going to be my wife and you need to respect that if you really want me to consider you my brother like you say you do. Just sayin. Lata niggas!

Happy Valentine's Day/7 Months

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 05:29:50 GMT

FOR BRITNEY ONLY!

Valentine,
I'm like the rose, and you're like the early morning drops of water glistening on my petals.
..................
..................
..................
..................
Dew Me.

She loved it.

On a more serious note, I have to say this. I love you Britney, with my heart and my soul, I LOVE YOU!! I know we've had out ups and really downs, but there is nobody I would rather be with than you, and thats the truth baby. Please stay with me through thick &tin, I want to marry you sweetie, I know it will be hard with me being in the marines but I promise it will benefit us for the better. I LOVE YOU AND I AM SO GLAD I AM WITH YOU! So please don't listen to anything that other people say, ESPECIALLY RYAN. You are more important to me than anything and I would be nothing without you!

It's been 7 months now. I love her more than ever. She wore a sexy red dress yesterday, and I let EVERYONE know that I was getting under it! And boy, did I get under it...GOD DAMN! I mean really, FUCKING AMAZING! Anyway, I hope we have a good anniversary this time. I want her to be 100% sure that I need her and want her more than anything, ALL THE TIME.

I LOVE YOU BRITNEY FITZGERALD!

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 17:07:29 GMT

I'm joining the marines. I know a lot of people are scared for me, but it's for the best. I plan to propose to Britney on her birthday, and marry her before I have to go to Iraq. Once I turn 18, I'm going to start boot camp. I'm not that scared, I know I can make it. I'm going to be on the sniper team. The pussy Air Force doesn't have one of those. Like Mr. Fitzgerald said, anyone's a wimp compared to the marines. I can handle it though. And in the end it will be worth it, when I can support my wife and children, with insurance and paid college on top of my salary. I only have to be in it for 4 years and I will be all set with it. That's all I want, to be a good husband and father, and that means supporting my family. Even if this is what I have to do. But I know I can do it. The one thing I really am scared about is Britney finding another guy when I am gone. I told her she can date other guys, but the truth is I'm doing this just for her. I won't be seeing her every day, which will be weird when I spend every minute that she's not here just missing her. And she does the same to me. She's stayed by my side through so much though. I guess I have to believe that she will stay faithful to me. She's been crying about this all day, I feel so bad, but she will thank me later, and she told me she will always be supportive and proud of me, but I want to give her a real reason to be proud. Besides, knowing her, the uniform will turn her on. Valentine's Day is next Tuesday. For once I am looking forward to it. This is the first time I've had a Valentine, her too. She asked me to be hers and it meant a lot to me. With other girlfriends I've had, not mentioning names, they've decided to have other guys as their Valentine even while they were going out with me. Don't care all that much, but I guess I agree with Britney, it's a slutty thing to do. But I bought her a mini Mr. Snuggles and a card and a few other things, that I can't say because I know my sweetheart is reading this. Well I gotta get back to work, lata homies...

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 01:00:48 GMT

Today I sucked lots of dick and then I took it up the ass and then I bought myself a strapon that vibrates, and I'm getting ready to use it right now! Okay bye!

x-posted to yaybritsakitty

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 01:05:34 GMT

Evan's Accident

People, unless you know for sure that your number is saved in Evan's cell phone, DO NOT call him... Evan was jumped by three Hispanic kids in Watrerplace Park Sunday afternoon, punched and kicked repeatedly, all so that they could steal his cell phone. The police are currently tracing all incoming and outgoing calls, and charges are going to be pressed, so if you are not in the phone and you call him, it will be traced and you may be called to the police station to be questioned as a suspect of being a possible accomplice. Evan is going to be fine, but he does not have his cell and anyone who calls him that is not in there is most likely going to have to deal with pain in the ass cops questioning them. If you want to check up on Evan or wish him a quick recovery, please call his home phone between 3-9PM. Thanks everyone :-/

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 06:08:26 GMT

ON GUARD!
My girlfriend smokes cigars with me! She's so hot! I'd like to thank my brother for finally giving me the pack of cigars he owes me, and Britney, for being my sexy baby, and, uh, yeah! Britney says this picture of me is sexy. Britney is sexy too, look!
Reminds me of something that happened earlier tonight...
Love you baby!

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 03:22:50 GMT

Britney is too nice. She lets my ex gfs talk to her and lets them be her friends on myspace even though she knows they are just spying on her so they can start another shitstorm. And they are taking full advantage. Things have been good between us lately though. She always has my back. She was stressed out today because the job she wanted wouldn't hire her because of her school schedule. Also her dad just had surgery and she can't rely on him for shit so she feels alone in a certain way it seems. She's definitely a daddy's girl, and it's hard watching her dad get old and having to help him for a change. She fights her grandma and stepmom to talk to him, she misses him so much and I kinda do too. He is a nice guy and he always helps us out when we're fighting or in trouble. So we drank coffee and smoked cloves and cigars. It's weird watching my gf smoke, she doesn't usually inhale so it's kinda funny. My cough is getting better finally so at least that is one burden off her back, and mine. She cares about people so much, sometimes I get annoyed but I know our love wouldn't be so strong if she wasn't this way. I'm glad Britney has the car because it means I get to sleep over and get free rides to and from school, and makes lots of love and play DDR. She is getting a lot better I am so proud. Anyway gonna try to get some rest tonight, peace out niggas!

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 09:19:07 GMT

Well for those of you who weren't at the mall tonight I was wrongly accused of cheating on Britney and then I broke up with her. I just need time to think. Tomorrow I am going to visit her at work and help her out, maybe get a job in the process. Tomorrow looks a lot brighter than today, as far as getting back together with Britney. I still love her so much, she is so beautiful and sweet. It's hard being with her right now. I wish we could just be together in a few years when we are both out of school, when we both have our lives straightened out. But I've run out of chances and it's now or never. If I choose to leave her now she will be gone from my life forever. I need her in my life. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. I just want to be on my own for awhile. I wish I could just call her and talk to her, but still be on my own. But she won't let it happen that way. She told me that if I break up with her now then I'm giving up on her forever, because she can't move on with her life if I'm still calling her every night, and seeing her all the time, and expecting her to wait for me to find myself. And she says that if I break up with her, then she has no other choice but to just move on, because it will only break her heart more to love me and not be able to be with me. I know that she has done so much for me, and stood by me even in the worst times of my life, as well as her own. But now this is her low point in her life, or so she sees it. And she (as well as everyone else) feels that I'm betraying her by not returning the favor. I know she has been trying to trust me, but she still doesn't. And I know that I haven't given her much of a chance to try, but it's frustrating because I really have changed. And she won't believe me, she's always spying on me in some way, or fighting. I've been trying too, but no one seems to notice that. Everyone just wants to beat the crap out of me for hurting her. In a way I kind of felt like beating the crap out of myself, because I can't stand seeing her cry. I still want her so bad, I still feel jealous of every guy that flirts with her, especially Ryan. Seeing her standing next to him, laughing at his stupid jokes, poking him, God it just made me want to kill him more. I thought I was ready to move on from hating my brother, too, but I can't stand that they used to like each other and even made out on more than one occasion. I'm trying though, I really am, I just wish people would notice! Anyway, I haven't slept in so long, it's about time I try.

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 03:35:01 GMT

hey peeps, i havent been home in literally like 4 freakin' days, ive been at my gf's dorm sleeping over and i slept over my friend TJ's house. This week has been really freaking slow, i think i went to school like 3 days out of 5, thats pretty bad ya know, damn! God im so freakin tired lately and i cant sleep........too much on my damn mind to sleep or even remotely close my eyes and try, i love to sleep over my gf's dorm, it rocks my socks and its just so great because she wakes me up nice and early so that i can take the bus back to warwick to go to school in time that would suck if i was late everytime, OMFG THAT WOULD SUCK!! Anyway, this is the chronicles of Evan, lata!

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 21:32:44 GMT

Today I missed the bus again and took the opportunity to talk on the phone with Britney for an extra couple of minutes. Now I am over her dorm and I just found all the chocolate. Chocolate and sex make the world go round. I just found out my friend Jamie got busted and kicked out of Vo Tech, that sucks, we're going to be cracking skulls tomorrow. Now I am feeding her chocolate. Britney says I am a geek, but she likes it. I am not a geek! Well now I am going to stop this for awhile and hump her a little more, it's fun, plus I can't help myself. Oh and by the way, it will be 5 months for me and Britney on Friday the 16th, I hope she doesn't have PMS again, that will suck balls if she does.

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 19:35:08 GMT

This weekend was amazing. I got in two huge fights with my parents but man, it was worth it. I spent Friday night and all day Saturday at Britney's dorm and all day Sunday with her at the mall and then at my house to watch March of the Penguins. The only really bad thing that happened was Nicole, my ex and former best friend, decided to be a major cunt to Britney on Saturday morning by telling her firstly that I cheated on my other ex, Brittany, with Britney, which luckily Brian cleared up for her, and then that I kissed her at the movies in August after I asked Britney out. I busted my knuckles, literally, punching the wall trying to get Britney to believe me. We have enough problems without cunt ex girlfriends! Today I am going to go Christmas shopping with Britney. If she buys me a man thong I am going to be very angry, god why can't she see I'm just not like that?? Anyway, I'm going to be late. I love you Britney!

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 02:27:27 GMT

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I went to school, it was boring. I went to see Britney, took 3 hours on the RIPTA bus, but it was worth it. My mom is mad at me, but I might get to sleep over because the roads are terrible and there are no more busses out of here. Britney's stepmom is a bitch. Just wanted to say that. Because it's true. Britney has an apple bottom. It's so ripe. I just want to take a bite out of it. Mmm, fruity. I love you, Britney. Light, crisp, refeshing, diet pepsi. Sorry, just figured I'd advertise a bit. Britney raped me today. I was going to go to the police, but they said I'm not allowed to bring charges against her because technically it's not rape--you can't rape the willing. I need to stop humping Britney. But it's funny when she yells and her voice gets squeaky.

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 04:44:12 GMT

I just sat around all day after school and watched tv i was mad bored i miss britney a lot i feel lonely without her i have no one to hang out with nor do i want to hang out with anyone except britney but she was hanging out with her suitemates all day probably having hot sex with at least one of them haha but i seriously hope not because i love her more than anything. I dont want to make the stupid mistakes I made before, I need to go to school and get into college, I need to be more responsible and respectful to my mother, and most of all I need to be faithful to my sweetheart. She is the only girl who has ever loved me back and I know I want to marry her and have kids with her. I have been really tired lately i think i am getting sick, i hope this doesnt affect my sex life with britney. Unless she doesnt wanna make love to me anymore I understand... I know she loves me though. But i just cant help being jealous because i always feellike i am going to lose her even though she tells me 100 times a day that she will love me forever, im just so scared of losing her. Tomorrow I am going to see Britney after school, I hope my mom gives me money and my cell phonr back so i can stop borrowing them from my girlfriend, I feel really bad doing that all the time. Saturday we are going ice skating and I'm nervous because I've never been before, but whatever, I just hope I don't fall on my ass too much. Well I am tired and im going to call britney so ill write more in this later.